After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
