God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize