So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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