The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
