Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
