So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
