Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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