I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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