why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
