Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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