READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
