I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
