As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
