is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I believe in your delicious
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
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