god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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