Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
