i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
