no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
