If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
