Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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