So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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