Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
