Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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