my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
