i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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