Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
