He is like the real live version of the state fair..
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
