Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
