good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I forgot how hot balto sounded
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
