dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Randomize
