five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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