you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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