Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Randomize
