uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
