I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
