whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize