Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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