This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
