hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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