Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
