3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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