Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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