Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
