Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
When did angry sex become our thing?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
