I'm drive I can fine osifer
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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