At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize