my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
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