I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
there is glitter all over my balls
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