two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
