Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Rumble strips road head = magical
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
