New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
