My first STD was from a foam party
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
