I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
