we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
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