Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
