Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
