How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
So much rum. So many feels.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
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