i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
