i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
