Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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